by Lisa Ann Sharpe

The holiday season presents unique challenges for clients going through divorce. As lawyers, we can help ease this burden by offering practical support and compassionate guidance. 

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) defines trauma as resulting from an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that an individual experiences as physically or emotionally harmful or life-threatening, with lasting adverse effects on their functioning and well-being. Trauma can manifest in divorce, including feelings of betrayal, loss, and fear. 

SAMHSA emphasizes that trauma can stem from various sources, including violence, abuse, neglect, loss, disaster, war, and other emotionally harmful experiences. Recognizing the widespread impact of trauma, SAMHSA advocates for trauma-informed approaches in behavioral health care to support healing and recovery. The divorce process is traumatic because it involves loss, uncertainty, and emotional conflict, disrupting family dynamics and financial stability.

Why December Can Be Especially Difficult and Traumatic 

Holidays often bring memories of better times, emphasizing loss. Parties to a divorce have increased stress due to holiday-related parenting disputes, financial strain, or loneliness.

Helping Clients Navigate the Holidays 

Encourage clients to set realistic expectations for the season. Suggest ways to create new traditions that honor their current circumstances. If parenting schedules are contentious, help them find strategies to reduce conflict and focus on their children’s needs.

 Celebrating Small Wins 

Acknowledging milestones—like successfully negotiating a co-parenting agreement or navigating a challenging holiday schedule—can help clients see their progress and build confidence for the future. 

Extending the “Gift” of Understanding 

Simple gestures, like a thoughtful holiday card or a message recognizing a client’s resilience, can go a long way. Remind clients that they are not alone and that their hard work in the legal process is setting the stage for a better future. Taking Care of Yourself The emotional toll of working with traumatized clients can be significant. Lawyers should prioritize their own well-being during this demanding season, ensuring they can continue to serve clients effectively. Three suggests: 

• Set boundaries to protect personal time and limit work hours. 
• Practice mindfulness or meditation to manage holiday stress. 
• Engage in activities that bring joy, like hobbies or exercise.